hanger (pronounced like "anger" with an "h"; not to be confused with the tool that holds your shirts in the closet - that has a softer "g" sound) is the anger you experience because you are hungry - it usually sets in around 11:30am for lunch...3pm-ish (cookie or nap time) - and again around 6pm-ish before dinner
the source of hanger = low seratonin levels (none of this is factual - it could be - but who knows - check wikipedia - they're reputable)
seratonin (i'm recalling from 6th grade science: the endocrine system) is a hormone released from the pituitary gland (in the center of your brain). it's the pleasure hormone...released when you laugh, eat, sleep, drink coffee or beer, so on and so forth...
so why are you grumpy in the morning? i don't know! don't ask me - i need a nap.
it could be instant withdrawal because your "high" (from sleeping) is over. your seratonin-rich blood is now being depleted...not to mention the unpleasant jolt from bliss your alarm provides...
to overcome this early morning withdrawal, we look to caffeine, eggs, oj, cheerios, and/or a warm shower...
the lack of warm water in the morning is extremely irritating because you're experiencing withdrawal (consider your neighbor practicing the drums when you're hungover - same idea; bad mood + irritating stimulus = aggravation)
so - what does hanger (remember - hard "g") have to do with gender?
metabolism.
men, in general, have a higher tendency to eat whatever they want into their mid- to late-twenties and don't have too many repercussions (aside from the weight gain when our metabolism slows down around the age of 30 and generally shorter life expectancy)
women, on the other hand, watch what they eat from a younger age - it's partially due to societal standards that can't be reached (tiny brazilian and/or italian models) ( i for one won't stand for this - to boycott the fashion industry - i will continue to wear jeans and t-shirts!)
so - women (this is all hypothetical) - on average - may have a decreased flux of seratonin into their bloodstream than men. we - and i'm speaking for all of us - can't even begin to imagine what that's like (why? because we like cookies, we will eat cookies - plain and simple).
further - it might be plausible that the source of "cranky pants" (a.k.a. hanger) is not so much our fault, but is really a trickle down effect from the fashion industry. that's not to say that we don't wear "cranky pants" on occasion, rather - we change out of our cranky pants with such things as beer, ribs, pork in general, chocolate chip cookies, chipotle, etc.
so - what we (men) need to do is appreciate womens perspective (that we will never understand)
what women need to do is not blame us for the standards set by the fashion industry
sidenote: we will not stop looking at the models: they are there, we will look - we're simple people
(example: if there is a train wreck - you will look; it's not a good thing, it's just how it is)
advice for overcoming biochemical processes (e.g., low seratonin levels): acknowledge your crankiness at an elevated volume, specify that it is due to low seratonin levels and demand feeding time in the immediate future before things get worse (this will hopefully make you laugh and appease your system until food is on the table)
this little blurb could get me in a lot of trouble...if it made you angry in any way...read it again after you eat - you'll be thinking more clearly - and might even find it funny.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
the science of stinky feet
my roommates and i noticed that our shoes acquired a certain scent quicker than they have in the past.
this scent is not unique to each pair of shoes - rather - it is common amongst boots, sneakers, slippers, and shoes that belong to me, Jason, and Elisa - and many others, i'm sure.
why? who knows. but - i think i figured it out
sidenote: i've been studying aerosol science - that is, i learn and research the chemistry that takes place in the gas phase, aqueous phase, and in/on particles that absorb or scatter light; now you know.
the key to stinky feet is vapor pressure. vapor pressure is essentially the gas phase concentration of any compound - even sweat (if it were a single-component liquid)
vapor pressure is a function of temperature, that is - as the temperature increases, so does vapor pressure. i have to say it that way or else i would feel like i've wasted time here at Rutgers. the moral of the story = hot things evaporate.
SO - wearing shoes all day - your feet are bound to perspire. that perspiration soaks into sneaker-cloth. when you take your shoes off, you might think that the sweat would ultimately evaporate and reach Henry's law equilibrium with your apartment - leaving your shoes relatively perspiration free based on the volume of an apartment compared to the surface area of shoe.
HOWEVER - when you're a grad student or young adult - there is a high likelihood that your apartment is FREAKIN' FREEZING throughout the cold months. therefore, "hot things" do not get hot enough to evaporate. the vapor pressure of your perspiration decreases and remains in the condensed phase in your sneaker-cloth.
when you put on your shoes the next day, they may smell fine because it is still cold, the vapor pressure has not increased. at the end of the day, when your feet have warmed up your shoes, they don't smell fine anymore. your hot foot has made your shoes rather pungent. in addition, your hot foot has added some condensed phase perspiration. when you return to your frigid apartment in the evening and remove your shoes and the hot foot, the shoes cool and retain the sweat. over time, your shoes become saturated with sweat and smell increases with increasing temperature.
pretty interesting.
saturated with sweat - pretty gross.
i know you all know what i'm talking about.
this scent is not unique to each pair of shoes - rather - it is common amongst boots, sneakers, slippers, and shoes that belong to me, Jason, and Elisa - and many others, i'm sure.
why? who knows. but - i think i figured it out
sidenote: i've been studying aerosol science - that is, i learn and research the chemistry that takes place in the gas phase, aqueous phase, and in/on particles that absorb or scatter light; now you know.
the key to stinky feet is vapor pressure. vapor pressure is essentially the gas phase concentration of any compound - even sweat (if it were a single-component liquid)
vapor pressure is a function of temperature, that is - as the temperature increases, so does vapor pressure. i have to say it that way or else i would feel like i've wasted time here at Rutgers. the moral of the story = hot things evaporate.
SO - wearing shoes all day - your feet are bound to perspire. that perspiration soaks into sneaker-cloth. when you take your shoes off, you might think that the sweat would ultimately evaporate and reach Henry's law equilibrium with your apartment - leaving your shoes relatively perspiration free based on the volume of an apartment compared to the surface area of shoe.
HOWEVER - when you're a grad student or young adult - there is a high likelihood that your apartment is FREAKIN' FREEZING throughout the cold months. therefore, "hot things" do not get hot enough to evaporate. the vapor pressure of your perspiration decreases and remains in the condensed phase in your sneaker-cloth.
when you put on your shoes the next day, they may smell fine because it is still cold, the vapor pressure has not increased. at the end of the day, when your feet have warmed up your shoes, they don't smell fine anymore. your hot foot has made your shoes rather pungent. in addition, your hot foot has added some condensed phase perspiration. when you return to your frigid apartment in the evening and remove your shoes and the hot foot, the shoes cool and retain the sweat. over time, your shoes become saturated with sweat and smell increases with increasing temperature.
pretty interesting.
saturated with sweat - pretty gross.
i know you all know what i'm talking about.
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